F-f-f- fear the Fiskerton Phantom,
ABC – Alien Big Cat — of Lincolnshire, U.K.
Big as a cougar; black as a panther.
‘E’s not about to scamper around
to the back porch for handouts, miss;
‘e’s more of the pounce and grabya sort.
Don’t just disport his gams and silken glide
on yer side of the road stage either, Ella;
He’s stealthy and partial to homo s kebabs.
Give ‘m a wide berth; don’t perch
in the trees and shrubbery, or poke yer
camera proboscis from behind a rock.
He’ll stalk you and you won’t want
the picture of the mess he’ll make of you,
trust me. Emily Post wouldn’t fete ‘im – ever!
F – f- fear the Fiskerton Phantom
and grant him easy passage – from here
to wherever he came from, in any weather.
Let him grabba shuttle on the first
wormhole bus outta the moors and tulies.
wish him Godspeed, that he bungle back into his jungle.