In Answer to your Relic Query by David C. Kopaska-Merkel and Kendall Evans

In Answer to your Relic Query
David C. Kopaska-Merkel
Kendall Evans

His day in court proved a kangaroo trial
They found his sin to be most vile
For sipping his gin from the Holy Grail
They sentenced his ass to an orbital jail

Somewhere far out in the Oort Cloud
Where he soon fell in with the Oort crowd
Subsequently rescuing the Holy Shroud
                                              of Turin
From a bunch of slant-eyed alien Djinn

Whom he later fell in love with, begetting
A noisome gaggle of miscegenetic offspring
Thanks to the miracles of
                       tailored gene manipulation
And recombinant spiritual regeneration

But the story doesn’t end there, you
Really must visit our new-
                     ly remodeled Interstellar
                                            Reliquary

                 (end)