The Trouble with Unsolicited Messages By Richard H. Fay

The Trouble with Unsolicited Messages
Richard H. Fay

“We have a genuine extraterrestrial signal,” a SETI technician announced excitedly as he adjusted the knob on the receiver. Every scientist in the crowded dark room gathered closer as a series of strange cosmic messages came through the crackling speakers.

“Invest twenty-million Sentorian craduples in our tetrahedron scheme and make quadrillions.”

“Buy our chartreuse wonder pills for natural tentacle enhancement.”

“Meet hot and horny single amoeboids near you.”

Eager looks soon gave way to expressions of shock, embarrassment, and mild amusement as the truth of the matter became apparent.

“Gentlemen,” one grey-haired scientist declared gravely. “We’ve been spammed from space.”

(Originally published in The Drabbler #11, June 2008.)