The Yeren’s Complaint
Richard Stevenson
Yeah, we’re hairy, healthy Yerin.
Don’t appreciate yer starin’
Just wanna root for roots and berries.
Never mind our dental caries.
Leave us a bar of soap, some shampoo.
Let us soak our yarbles in a pool
instead of tryin’ to fill our narra butts
with lead and makin such a fuss.
Yeah, we’ve been around a while,
but waitin’ for handouts ain’t our style.
We ain’t homeless; don’t need no zoo.
Muggin’ ain’t on our list of things to do.
Yeah, we pick each other’s fleas,
but we refuse to stoop to please.
Ain’t weak in the knees or impressed
with the way you hairless monkeys dress.
Back off, Jack! Leave us a little scenery.
Ain’t doin’ nothin’ to your greenery
that you ain’t doin’ a hundred fold.
Our home ain’t somethin’ we want sold.
Ain’t drinkin’ up all yer water,
just got a hungry, thirsty daughter
who don’t care about celebrity or fame.
Go back to the places from which you came.
Listen to the birds and bees. Chill,
and when yer finished gawkin’, fill
a thermos, pick some berries, then vamoose.
If you’ve gotta hang, baby, hang loose!
That’s it. Relax; let the gun drop.
Let yer arms go flippy flop.
S-s-s- start to stutter, stammer.
Say Yerin, yerin… close yer yammer.
Take a picture, if you must,
then spin on your heels in the dust.
Get a footprint, handful of hair.
Yer folks’ll say it’s from a bear.
