Third Planet from Nowhere
David C Kopaska-Merkel
The water bill’s through the roof
The local pawnshop won’t take
Ultrapure gold anymore
FBI and IRS have both been by
(Thank Tech for the Memory-Erasing Ray!)
The basement lab uses SO MUCH water
Even 90% effluent recycling
Causes the creek to rise
As much as the bill
Can’t just turn off the tap
I’m three months away from synthesizing enough fuel
To make it home.
Would the CIA be interested in specs for the M-E ray?
How much could I get on E-bay
for a genuine, albeit nonfunctional, alien food oxidizer?
What about (almost) authentic 3D-printed alien battle armor?
How much would the Enquirer pay for an exclusive?
There’s gotta be something!