Musician in Paris by Steven Translateur

Musician in Paris
Steven Translateur

Ceank Girald was an extra-terrestrial intelligence agent with a 30 year mission to immerse himself in Earth culture, send a message to Earthlings, and report back to his home world of Pegasi his findings.  His spaceship landed him in Chambery, France.  There he lived for six months, practicing his French, and perfecting his clarinet playing.

Next, he moved to Paris.  There he exchanged 50 thousand francs worth of triangular gold pieces that had been part of his equipment for the mission.  He used the funds to rent a hotel room and begin looking for work as a musician in a theatrical symphonic band.  He found one.  The Theatre of The Absurd, on the Champs-Élysées, hired him!

Once settled in on Earth, he began looking for a spouse.  He went to night clubs, socializing.  He found Madame Belle LaFleur, an aspiring actress, at Le Rose club.  They danced all night at first meeting.  Then they had a beautiful courtship, going out to dinner in fine restaurants, attending plays and movies, and making love with abandon.  They married.

Their first offspring (a son), Zarin, had a sky high intellect and grew up to be an altruistic physician; he had clinics in Paris and Mozambique.  His African clinic serviced the community with vaccines and check ups free of charge; he was a proud member of the organization Doctors Without Borders.

Their second offspring (a daughter) was a brilliant figure skater, Milunde; by the age of 15, she was doing triple lutzes and toe loops as well as any other skater on Earth.  She wowed audiences with her energetic jumps and inspired spins.  She looked like an acrobatic angel.  The emotional expressions of her performances were superb also.  Many commentators felt that her artistry was deeply humane and original.  Some considered her to be the best figure skater anywhere on Planet Earth and beyond.

In his spare time, Ceank Girald was a member of a group of radio astronomers called Exploration of the Heavens (E.O.T.H.); they were a group of individuals from all walks of life, who were trying to make contact with extra-terrestrials; they had a big, million watt, transmitter outside of Paris that broadcast pleas to aliens, begging them for assistance and intervention in Earth affairs.

At a meeting of E.O.T.H. and other dignitaries including politicians and ordinary people, when electing the president of E.O.T.H., this is the message that Ceank explained to the gathering: “Ladies and gentlemen, elite representatives of Earth who are trying to establish contact with beings from other worlds – this is a sample of a response, I composed, to be considered as a possible message from one species of aliens or from people of Earth with an imagination.

There is a reason we on the Planet Pegasi have not yet visibly made contact with Earth and humans – it is because galactic law forbids direct, ostensible, interaction between advanced civilizations and developing worlds.  Nevertheless, the Pegasians are so sympathetic to the people of Earth, and are objectors to policies of non-interference, they might try to send an emissary to Planet Earth to get a single message through.

And this is the message: that we love you and care about you and shall do everything possible to someday send a rescue ship to help Earth solve its problems; these problems include starvation, homelessness, lack of universal health care, and malaise.  And when the Savior Ship does arrive, there shall be rejoicing, for we shall share advanced technologies with Earth including computer food creation, fusion power, and interstellar drive.  Thank you.”

Ceank’s daughter Milunde had a human rights foundation called End Starvation, and was active in good causes.  She made it to the Vermont Olympics by the age of 18 and competed.  At an ice cream parlor in Montpelier Vermont, she squared off with another figure skater named Zesa.  The got into a cat fight, arguing over ending starvation, and were nearly kicked out of the Olympics.

But dreams can come true – Milunde won a medal and became world famous.  Her routine was done to a medley of jazz music.  She swirled and jumped magnificently, mesmerizing the audience with her nimbleness and prowess.  She was also the first female in skating history to do a triple axle – twice in her performance; this was courtesy of her blessed, half-alien corporeal form.

Meanwhile, Zesa, furious over the bout with the figure skater, sent an assassin out to annihilate Milunde.   Milunde’s father, Ceank, explained to her that she came from another planet through his ancestry, and that he has access, therefore, to sophisticated technologies; he gave her a bracelet that deflects bullets and only bullets.  On a street in Paris, the bracelet was tested when an assassin started firing at Milunde; the bracelet worked!  It deactivated projectiles shot at Milunde.  It did this by using extreme mega-powered “special flying wave” fields (alien technology) that are directed only at bullets.

Meanwhile, Ceank’s son Zarin, who worked tirelessly for the health of others, died tragically from a tropical disease.  He was buried in a ceremony in Paris attended by thousands of former patients and their families.  Said the chaplain at the event: “Zarin Girald was the most selfless person that ever lived!  He worked long hours in his clinics helping the poor and underrepresented find health and happiness.  May he rest in peace and find solace and gratitude in Heaven.”

Meanwhile, Ceank had become world famous as a musician with an album of clarinet tunes in print.  Some of the melodies included Carnation Bouquet, Scintillating Nebula, Lovely Limoges, Astral Sunrise, and Gravitational Love.

At the end of 30 years, Ceank’s mission was over.  He, his wife, and his daughter Milunde flew by helicopter to a rendezvous point in Chambery.  There his comrades from Pegasi picked them up in a shuttle pod and took them to the mother ship to whisk them off to their primary home world – an empire where death was abolished, everybody lived in luxury, families were strong and supportive, technology was super advanced, bigotry and hate were abolished, and love was everywhere.

Before parting Earth, Ceank explained to France that he had enjoyed his trip to Earth immensely, and that he would someday return.

Said Ceank to Milunde, once they were on board the Sleek Explorer vessel, “We are going home sweetie.  You are going to have the chance to meet your extra-terrestrial family and live happily ever after!  In addition, as a half-human and half-Pegasian, you shall have the special opportunity to be a spokesperson for Earth, and to advocate Pegasian assistance to it.  This may bring about a breakthrough in Pegasi to Earth relations that results in a tumultuous improvement in the lives of all human beings!”

Musician in Paris by Steven Translateur 1

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