Pocket ‘Squatch by Richard Stevenson

Pocket ‘Squatch
Richard Stevenson

Ain’t got a paunch, Mama.
Ain’t got a lottta hair on top.
Got a hankerin’ for
Pita and Hummus, Mama.

Wanna go for a cuppa joe?
Wanna go for a walk?
Or just stay home and snuggle
In fronta the wide screen TV?

Yeah, I gotta hairy back,
legs, and chest. Not
a lotta room for tattoos, true.
A lawn mower guy on my head maybe.

I’m short and hairy, baby,
But down to my high school weight
And still in love with you. Woo woo woo.
No Valentino. Still, yer hairy valentine,

Chorus (female)

Sentient sapien,
sentimental schmoozer.
Italiano/ English hybrid:
hairy homo flippin’ flatus.

Got small, wide feet, Mama,
but at least I’ve got ‘em planted. 
Hey, my short legs reach
all the way to the ground.

Nice to retire together, yeah.
Be yer pocket ‘squatch.
Got no need to wear
or wind a watch, babe.

Ain’t no saggin’ sapien
(‘cept maybe where it matters).
Ain’t bookin’ downhill fast.
Don’t hafta get to the bottom yet.

Just sayin… Yer sentient sapien…
Grateful to have come so far
Over such sweet terrain with you.
Yer hairy – not so contrary – Honey Baba Lou.

Chorus (female)

Sentient sapien, sentimental schmoozer.
Italianao/ English hybrid,
Hairy homo flippin’ flatus.

(Male rejoiner)

Hairy mo’fo’ maybe.
Best boss hog jus’ the same.
Gotta a hankerin’ for Hummus,
Whatever comes among us.
Mmm mmm hmm. Mmm mmm hmm.


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